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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?